Lullabies

I was singing to myself tonight and I began to think of the lullabies that I sing to Lucas and Katie. I started to think about the words and how they are actually perfect for each one of them. So they will never forget them, I want to write the words to each and then explain to my children why they are so special and meaningful to me. Before we began, yes Katie, Lucas' song is longer but that's not my fault! I didn't write the songs!!

To Lucas, my sticky, slimy, sweet little boy,

Dragon tails and the water is white, pirates sail and lost boys fly, fish bite moon beams every night and I love you.

Godspeed, little man. Sweet dreams, little man. Oh my love will fly to you each night on angel's wings. Godspeed. Sweet dreams.

The rocket racer's all tuckered out. Superman's in pajamas on the couch. Goodnight moon will find the mouse and I love you.

Godpeed, little man. Sweet dreams, little man. Oh my love will fly to you each night on angel's wings. Godspeed. Sweet dreams.

God bless mommy and matchbox cars. God bless dad and thanks for the stars. God hears amen wherever we are and I love you.

Godspeed, little man. Sweet dreams, little man. Oh my love will fly to you each night on angel's wings. Godspeed. Sweet dreams.

I love this song for you for several reasons. First of all, it portrays you to an almost perfection. You have a great imagination and all day you play superheroes and pirates and all of the things you would love to be. Then at night, in pajamas, asleep in your bed, I see my sweet little boy. You talk about everything you want to do when you get bigger and I am begging for you to slow down. Unfortunately, time goes quickly and just as you change from loving Woody to Spiderman to Batman, you also are becoming a little man right before my eyes. The last verse really speaks to me for your future. Boys are meant to grow up, find themselves, fall in love, marry, become a father and a man of God. You will be the leader of your family. You will not need me like you do now. As heartbreaking as it is to admit that, I want you to become these things and for you to do that, I will eventually have to let you go. You will not call me for every heartbreak, every disappointment. Believe me when I say that if you do call, I WILL be there for you. But, in general, boys will not be open like that. So I will have to rely on the fact that you know my love will fly to you on angel's wings whenever you need it. I love you Lucas. Godspeed, little man. Sweet dreams.

To Katie, my beautiful, fun, sweet little girl,

Baby mine, don't you cry. Baby mine, dry your eyes.

Rest your head close to my heart, never to part, Baby of mine.

First of all, I told you it was short! But, it says so much in those few words. Katie, you are my little girl. I dried your eyes as a newborn when we were getting used to each other. I dry your eyes now when the downfall of being a toddler is falling alot! I will dry your eyes in elementary school when your best friend spreads a rumor about you. I will dry your eyes in middle school when the boy you like likes somebody else. I will dry your eyes in high school when your team loses the championship game or when you fail the test you studied so hard for. When you graduate and leave for college, we will dry each other's eyes. When you call to say you have found the one, we will cry tears of joy! When I first met you, two ideas came to my mind. One, I would have a shopping partner for life. Two, one day I would hopefully get to watch you become a mommy. That, in itself, is unbelievably amazing to me. You will know firsthand the love I have for you and Lucas. You will experience the happiness, fear and overwhelming love of having a baby. You will nurse your newborn and stare into his or her eyes and wonder how you've lived as long as you had without knowing this crazy love. You will also cry. You will be tired. You will feel inadequate and guilty about every move you make. And I will be there for you. I will again dry your eyes as you are drying your child's eyes. No matter where our roads lead, I want you to know that you can rest your head onto my heart, never to part, baby of mine. I love you, Katie Grace.

Katie Grace

Katie Grace

My sweet Katie Grace, the beginning of you is such a beautiful story. Daddy and I knew we were ready to give Lucas a baby brother or sister. It seemed like the perfect time in our lives. I wanted to be pregnant with you very badly so I took SEVERAL pregnancy tests even though most were not accurate because I took them ridiculously early! I was told by my friend Holly that I should not take another one untill it was long enough to really tell! It was great advice but so hard to wait! I was very excited and knew exactly how I would surprise everyone with the good news. I wanted to take a test Wednesday night but forced myself to wait untill Friday. On Thursday, January 24, however, we recieved news that would change everyone's course. My big brother, your uncle Billy had passed away unexpectedly. We were devestated. I was blown away by the news and I put off taking the test for a few days. On Sunday, I finally felt strong enough to find out if I was pregnant. Daddy and I read the stick together : PREGNANT! We both fell to the floor in tears. Happy tears for you, sad tears for the loss of someone who would have completely adored you and, mainly, fearful tears because I was truly afraid my body wasn't strong enough to carry you at that point in my life. I was terrified. I told Mamaw and Papa the news the day before we said goodbye to Billy. It was the only time for several days to come that I saw their eyes light up with hope. I shared the news with select people as the days moved on. Everyone had the same reaction. They all thought of you as God's little miracle of hope. My pregnancy with you was at the least, very eventful! I had to take up to three shots a day to keep my blood thin and went for sonograms weekly. Things were very hard for our family in those days because everyone was grieving for Billy. I felt very weak and vulnerable and worried often that I wasn't doing enough to keep you strong inside of me. I was under alot of stress and one day at my doctor's visit, I decided that I would need to talk to him about my stress level and what we could do about it. That day, during the sonogram, he noticed that you were not growing properly. He also noticed clotting in my placenta and you had a heart arrythmia. I was terrified to say the least. He told me there was a very good chance that you would be born prematurely. I vowed in that moment to be stronger than ever for you. I quit eating and drinking all caffeine (which includes chocolate!). I tried to learn to not carry other peoples stress and grief with me. And, I prayed for you like crazy! Four weeks after the diagnosis, the problem corrected itself....no, GOD corrected the problem. You came at thirty nine weeks and were a happy, healthy, beautiful baby girl. Katie, I don't tell you these things to make you sad. I write them to let you know that YOU kept me going. YOU made me strong again. YOU gave us all hope. You, my Katie Bug, came exactly when you were suppose to come. You put the light back in all of our eyes. We had several different middle names to choose from but we all knew when the time came that Grace was perfect. You are the very essence of God's grace. You will never know how much I needed you at that time. I love you.

After my son Lucas was born, I decided to write a book to him about the joys, struggles and hilarious moments of his childhood. I titled it Chicken Soup for Lucas' Soul. I wanted him to have something to look back on when he was a father or if I, for some reason, couldn't be around to retell these stories to him. He and his little sister Katie are the sheer reason for my existence and I can't hardly even remember life before them! I love these kids more than they will ever know and more than words can describe. Anyways, these stories are based on them and I hope you enjoy!



Meeting My Little Man

Seeing your beautiful face for the first time is an experience I will never forget or never do justice in trying to describe. After nine months of a great pregnancy, in which you surpassed all of the doctor's expectations, and nine and a half hours of hard labor, you made your entry after just fifteen minutes of pushing! I first noticed your big brown eyes and your jet black hair. Mamaw noticed your very defined dimples! You arrived very peacefully. So peacefully in fact, the nurse had to repeatedly hit your backside to get you to cry! You had the most curious expression on your face. I should have known then what an inquisitive child I was blessed with! The nurses took you away to clean you and get your body temperature warmer. I kept reaching out to hold you but had to wait! Daddy and Mamaw rushed to your side and began to take the first of millions of pictures! You grabbed Daddy's finger like you had been waiting to meet him! I always imagined myself crying when I had a baby, and I did some, but it's hard to cry when you have a smile as big as Texas on your face!! I had just met the seven pound three ounce baby who would forever change mine and Daddy's lives. You were everything I needed and wanted. When our eyes met, I knew you knew I was your mother. I nursed you and remembered thinking that I could stare into those brown eyes forever! I knew everyone was outside waiting to meet you but I wasn't ready to share you yet! I did cry when Mamaw held you because for the first time I felt a mother's love and knew how much she loved me as well. Finally, I let everyone else come in. Mama' came in and Daddy introduced you to his mom which is a moment I will always remember. Your Papa came next and tried to hold back his tears of pride and joy. Rudy was too scared to hold you and Billy only held you for a minute before he got scared!! Victor said you looked like a dinosaur!! I actually wanted to punch him for that!! Many people came to meet you over the next several days and they all said the same things..that you were a beautiful, perfect, little boy! I agreed! When you were growing inside of me, I would imagine what you would look like and how much I would love you. Within the first sixty seconds of meeting you, however, you surpassed all I could of hoped for. I love you!